Mr. Garralda
Picture this: a normal morning, you stand up, open the curtain and see a beautiful landscape, you see the historical park of your community, it reminds you the origins of your community because it's not only a park, it has a small archeological place. This image can be totally normal for you because every morning it's the same story.
But what would happen if this place didn't exist? If you wake up to the noises of traffic, and if you open the curtain and the only thing you can see it’s huge buildings, and a cloud of smog, and maybe you'll get colds.
Mr. Garralda that's what would happen if we don't do anything to save this place. The community where I live and I disagree with the construction of a supermarket here. The supermarket will bring us caos, I just can't imagine that. That construction just would ruin our lifestyle, that’s how we feel.
We have a quiet life, and we don’t need a supermarket here, what about green areas? What about our origins? This should be a place far away from industrialization.
It’s okay to have places where to shop, but not here, they can be build in other places, because is not a good reason to destroy a historical park, this place should be a ecological reserve, and that’s more important than to have small shops.
Tell me Mr. Garralda isn’t it our right to ask authorities to preserve our historical places? I think at least they should hear us.
Total points: 14.5
Jessica
ResponderEliminarI think the use of your language is good but for an official letter is very direct. I think you should add also a brief introduction and conclusion.
Hi jessica!!
ResponderEliminarI liked your composition, I think the vocabulary i good and it's very well organized... but may be It seems more as a story than a letter... but I don't know may be I'm drunk!! haha noo! but you did a job, you didn't need to write to much to get the attention of the reader..
byee good luck!!
Hi Jessica:
ResponderEliminarGood letter Jessica just that maybe If I were Mr Garralda I woudn´t stop my supermarket project. Perhaps you have to choose other ideas of why it´s important to keep the park and to defend them clearly your. Good work
Hi Jess (I hope its ok to call you Jess)
ResponderEliminarGreat job on the letter, its really objective and you make yourself clear about the negative on the supermarket issue
Also you adressed the letter to Garralda (i thought it was funny)
Good job!
Jessica:
ResponderEliminarI think that your first description is good to contextualized Mr Garralda. I think it was very well organized, good vocabulary and you never lose your point of view.
Hi Jessica: I like your letter, but maybe it is a little bit of aggressive for a formal letter, but I think your point of view is good, and I enjoy it, so good woork.
ResponderEliminarHello Jessica!!!
ResponderEliminarI think that your letter has a good structure and the vocabulaty is find; but the content is not enought to defend the park, you take like a negative potion maybe you can continue with the idea of the introduction also to make it more interesting.
Hi Jessica: I think you have to argue stronger your points of view because sometimes is not enough with your arguments, also you can make your letter more formal becasuse it is an important issue. Anyway you did a good job! It is well structured and clear.
ResponderEliminarHello Jessica
ResponderEliminarI like your letter it shows how you feel about the market - park issue, but for me you didn't argue well your ideas to give them force¡
And also the introduction paragraph is too long, I think that is some kind irrelevant, but as I said I got the idea, it's organized, in general it's a good work
Hi Jess:
ResponderEliminarI think you expressed the objectives and the arguments very well, I just consider you could have been less descriptive in the first paragraph.
Very nice job!!!!
greetings
Robert
Hello Jessica.
ResponderEliminarYour composition is well organized, and your arguments are also good. I think that your letter is a little informal because it's direct in the closing paragraph. And also you could give less details about the park.
Hi Jess:
ResponderEliminarI liked the opening paragraph, If it was a real letter it could catch the reader attention, but the end it´s not quite strong.
In general I liked it!
Hi Jessica, I think that you mentioned well the reasons why this supermarket should not be built, but your arguments could have been more strong. I like the way you introduced the problem, because you catched the reader's attention, but with a little more of formalism, your letter would be more feasible of being succesful. Nice work!
ResponderEliminarHi Jessica,
ResponderEliminarI think your letter is well done. You made it better than the first time the teacher read it for us. Maybe it could be better if you explained more of the qualities and benefits of the park in the community, in order to make it stronger. I liked your language use, I think you chose good words and you have a nice vocabulary.
Hello.
ResponderEliminarYour letter was direct, but at the same time polite. You showed your points of view clearly against building the supermarket.
It's nice, I liked it.
Gabriel García
Hi Jessica.
ResponderEliminarYour letter has the right register and good arguments. In general it serves it's purpose.
Only some details aren't very clear, th end of the first paragraph for example: "...and maybe you'll get colds."
Hi Jessica
ResponderEliminarI think that you made a good point of view about why this supermarket shouldn't be made. Your composition is well organized and is interesting, good job.
Bere
Hi Jessica!
ResponderEliminarIt´s a good argument but I think that you should add an introductory paragraph and another to a conclusion. I like that your letter be reflexive. Good job!
Hello Jessica
ResponderEliminarYou gave Mr. Garralda a decrptive picture of the consecuences that building a supermarket would imply. You set your arguments in the right way. I think your use of English is good because you organizaed well your ideas.